Halloween Game the Twelfth
On
October
31, 2011, the first van-load from the International Pan-Religious
Conference arrived at Billy's Steakhouse and Eatatorium for the Welcome
Buffet and Potato Bar. Among them were:
Travis "The Holy Hammer" Sledge - 31 - Evangelical
Christian - a
pro-wrestler who found The Light during recovery from drugs and
accidental manslaughter, along with Buster the Bulldog (played by Josh)
Bruce Ali - 28 - Buddhist - a modern monk more interested in
reincarnation than escaping the karmic cycle (played by Will)
Cal Carter - 32 - Cult of Hastur - a world traveler who ended up near
the Plain of Ling and has never been the same (played by Chad)
Barbados "Sunwalker" Jones - 37 - Haitian Voodoo - a voodoo medicine
man (played by Paul)
Also among them were (a series of NPCs):
Dr. Rachel Greybachs - 41 - Atheist professor
Kaley Smith - 23 - Agnostic waitress
Father Benito Ignatius - 71 - Catholic priest
Cosh Zarrow - 33 - cult leader
Teal Astrallove - 26 - New Age guru
Scott Eaglefeather - 39 - Native American shaman
After the participants sit and introduce themselves,
Father Ignatius attempts to give an opening blessing, but his
microphone begins to screech. An
old, evil-looking, much-wrinkled man with a lazy eye ambled into the
room and fiddled with the wires, finally saying into the mike, "Test,
test, test your faith."
The
room began to swim around them, and they found themselves on an empty
highway in the middle of the woods, with a road sign reading "Welcome
to Halloweentowne" with what looked like bite and claw marks over the
"welcome." Behind it, a billboard for the Halloweentowne
Visitor's Center invited them. Travis tested if he were dreaming
by punching himself, Teal checked a bottle of pills in his pocket
before tossing them over his shoulder (later retrieving them),
Greybachs announces it is some kind of mass hallucination, while others
attempted to find out where they were via GPS on Cal's satellite phone,
which repeatedly gave the warning "No Satellites Found." Bruce
(that "human Quaalude") calmly went to the remains of the potato bar
and had some dinner. Others started to join in when growls began
to come from the forest around them. Someone suggested it was
wolves, but Scott disagreed, saying the sounds were too deep. A
Dire Wolf then burst from the forest, charging the group. One
landed on top of Scott, ripping into his chest with a claw.
Travis came to the rescue with a heroic bodyslam and wrestled with the
beast until flipping it in a suplex and slamming it into the
ground. Barbados stabbed it with his spirit knife (charging it
with evil blood). Meanwhile, Cal played his flute calmly, opening
his Third Eye and seeing the beast as the demonic monstrosity that had
perverted the form of an innocent ancient wolf.
Those
who
heard
the
music looked around and saw the world for what it truly
was: a realm populated with horrific spirits and evil. The
brightness of evil inundates the forest, and weirder colors of
spiritual power come from the east, away from the lights of the
town. Cal ended his playing, and they decided to walk into town,
carrying the injured Scott. As more growls came from the forest,
they turned to running, escaping as a pack of Dire Wolves came out of
the forest and furiously chowed down on the potato bar.
Eventually
headlights
appeared
coming
toward them, and the group stopped a
minivan. Middle-aged suburbanite Bob was driving toward the
forest to pick up his daughter after she called saying the party she
was at had begun to get out of hand. They managed to convince him
to call for an ambulance for Scott and drive the injured man back
toward town to meet it. Piling into the van, they drove for a
little way before coming upon a Black Knight upon his red-eyed
steed. The knight saluted with his lance before beginning a
charge. Bob narrowly dodged the knight and sped while the knight
turned about and pursued, gaining with the speed of his spectral
horse. A police car (responding to Bob's 911 call) appeared on
the road, and the knight changed targets. He lowered his lance
and speared the car, flipping it with evil strength. It gave the
van time to build up some lead before the knight pursued again, after
trampling the car into slag.
Bob's
driving
managed
to
stay ahead of the knight (and even driving over a
giant sewer gator, although it did break off a bumper) until they came
to a grocery store, where the gang decided to break into groups.
He pulled up to the front, and everyone dove out, hurrying
inside. From beyond the glass doors, they saw Bob peel out, the
knight arrive in the parking lot, rein in his horse, and then take up
renewed pursuit of the minivan. After the knight's galloping
disappeared, things seemed quiet. Too quiet, as they realized
there was no one in the store: no one shopping, no one at the
registers, no one but them. Much of the gang stayed at the front
as guard while others went into the store, looking for defenses like
lighter fluid and salt and bandages for Scott and people with
scrapes. At the poultry station, Cal heard a whisper. He
investigated, and a girl in butcher's clothes whispered again, "Is he
gone?"
Before
Cal
could
reply
that he didn't know who "he" is, a shot rang out, and
the girl's head exploded from a bullet. Cal and the others
scrambled for cover, and assassin's bullets flew seemingly from
nowhere. Soon the killer appeared from among the shelves, a tall,
stocky man wearing plain clothes and a haphazard pillow case made into
a ghost mask. He raised his rifle and shot again, driving the
people out into the parking lot, where others had broken into a truck
that happened to have the keys inside (after Travis's prayer).
Travis drove the truck wildly to the front of the store, where everyone
dove into the bed. They peeled out, leaving the killer behind,
shooting shots that damaged the truck but did not hurt anyone.
Taking count, they now realized that Teal and Kaley weren't with them,
having stayed in a cloud of tranquilizers in the backseat of Bob's
minivan.
They
began
driving
toward
the visitor's center, and Travis came upon a
puddle stretched across the otherwise dry road. Thinking nothing
of it, he drove through, but the puddle proved to be highly acidic,
almost immediately eating through the tires. The truck fell onto
its rims, kicking sparks and coming to a wild stop. No one was
injured further, but they saw the acid began to move toward them,
forming into a blob with pseudopods reaching for their flesh.
They abandoned the truck and ran the last few blocks to the visitor's
center, carrying Scott.
There,
they
were
greeted
by Mark, a college-intern who was once scrawny but
now looks like someone who has worked out feverishly from fear for two
years. He let them inside and gave them the explanatory tape
from Greg Weiss. The first aid station allowed Scott to be
stabilized, and he rested under the care of Father Ignatius, who is
weak
after all the running. The others picked up weapons from the
basement (under a trap door and behind a secret door from the storage
basement). Greybachs explained again how this is all a mass
hallucination, getting into a deep argument with Cal, who claimed there
are more things in the universe than are measurable by human
science. Barbados seemed to prove Cal correct as he used faith
points to roll bones over a map of Halloweentowne to judge where their
monster is, pointing to the Bank of Mammon on the south side of
downtown, near the Memorial Cemetery.
Travis,
Bruce,
Cal,
Barbados,
Dr. Greybachs, Cosh, and Father Ignatius (much
better after a rest) took the visitor center's heavily modified bank
truck out of its rear garage and drove carefully down the street.
They were cut off by a heavily damaged and fire-scarred mini-van, which
careened into the parking lot for the hospital before falling apart
upon coming to a halt. Bob and a teenage daughter, bleary eyed,
stumbled out and down the street toward home. Kaley appeared
after them, carrying an injured Teal, who went into the hospital.
Just as they prepared to leave, a crying little girl appeared alongside
the driver's side door, where Travis sat. She sniffed and
extended her arms for a hug, asking for help. Travis felt
compelled toward
compassion, but Buster growled, sniffing something wrong. Cal
began playing his flute to open Travis's third
eye, revealing the spiritual form of the little girl, an all-consuming
vortex, pulling anything it touched into black nightmare forever.
Travis slammed on the gas and sped away.
As
they drove toward the Halloweentowne Blood Bank, they spotted vampire
gangsters robbing it, and Travis hopped onto the curb to run several
down. One leaped onto the hood, prompting Barbados to attack it
(in hopes of gathering undead blood) out the window, but the vampire
countered by biting his forearm. Barbados pulled it inside, and
Travis destroyed it, shoving a golden cross he'd found at the Visitor's
Center into its forehead. Barbados used voodoo cleanse him of the
vampire's curse. Following that madness, they also drove by
mannequins moving in the shadows of a department store as well as the
Destroyer of Holy Places corrupting the cathedral, but decided to leave
both alone, instead pulling up to the Bank of Mammon. It is dark,
but small lights move from the windows, as if someone noticed them pull
up.
There,
Barbados
took
a look into the spiritual realm, seeing the bank as a
place of black evil with numerous shadow-creatures crawling in every
crevice. They began to pour a circle of salt around the bank to
contain the multitude of demons as well as the evil gushing
forth. Midway through completion, two bank security cars pulled
up. While Kaley, The Hammer, and Bruce distracted one pair of
rent-a-cops and Leader Cosh and Greybachs attempted to reason with
another, and Cal continued playing a flute to keep demons at bay,
demons swooped down upon Barbados and Ignatius, who exorcised them
(Ignatius causing the demon to fall into the Pit while Barbados turned
another to stone and then dust). The commotion spooked the
guards, who were then beaten down by The Hammer and Bruce's Tai Chi
moves. They are tied securely, and then a spell is placed,
trapping the evil energy.
They
hoped
that
is enough, but they remained in Halloweentowne.
Greybachs demanded what else to expect as it was just a dream, which
caused Cal to snap. He assaulted her, psychically jamming open
her third eye and forcing her to see the spiritual realm. After a
major struggle of wills, Greybachs was overwhelmed and became a stunned
medium like being forced to drink from a fire hydrant. They used
her to detect thirteen "strings" of connection passing through the
magic of the circle, denoting something very powerful inside, and
traced the nearest string to a demon skulking on a rooftop and watching
them. Ignatius ordered the demon down in the Name of Christ and pinned
it before them. After some questioning, determining that the
demon served the greater demon Greed, which had been summoned by
bankers to save themselves amid a receding economy, they exorcised
it. From
there, they built a "spirit trap" using Barbados' voodoo, powdered
brick that formed chains when bonded with the willing blood given by
Kaley. Pulling on the "strings", they attracted the demons,
caught them, and one by one Ignatius exorcised them. One talked
crafty lies to Ignatius, causing him to question the legitimacy of his
humility in holy power, and managed to escape. Ignatius, shaken,
took to a rest.
A
low-riding Chrysler with darkened windows sped by, stopped, and
reversed slowly, opening up fire in a drive-by shooting. Everyone
dove for cover, except for the security guards, who were shot up
badly. Travis takes a grenade garnered from the armory and
miraculously threw it back into the car through the open back window,
eliminating the
gangsters (who had been tempted by a demon of greed with great material
rewards if they had killed the heroes). Barbados healed his deep
wounds using the spilled guards' blood. Molotovs thrown into the
bank began burning, but were put out by unseen foes.
Knowing
that
they
needed to enter the bank to purify whatever was in it, the
heroes returned to the Visitor's Center. While arming up for a
strike, Greybach mentioned Cosh's "greedy wolfish eyes", which raised
suspicions of possession (indeed, he had become tempted by the demon
that had gotten away and fed it information of where they were going on
the promise of great power). After disarming him and tying him
up, they were rocked by an explosion. A voice called through a
megaphone outside, demanding the terrorists inside the center come out
unarmed immediately or they would continue to fire. Peeking
through external security cameras, they saw a section of the
Halloweentowne National Guard outside in a siege. Cal had Mark
rig a microphone to an external speaker, and he played haunting music
to open the eyes of the soldiers (while everyone else covered their
ears). They immediately saw the horrors of Halloweentowne around
them (as well as seeing that their commander had been bribed by the
escaped demon with promise of rank and praise at catching "terrorists"
responsible for the night's massacre) and went completely nuts.
Shooting filled the air at witches, men turned on each other, others
attacked monsters who had crept upon their edges. Total chaos
reigned, and the heroes quietly slipped out the back in the bank truck,
taking Scott with them and picking up Teal at the hospital.
Back
at
the
bank, they were quickly attacked as a man in a postman's uniform
jumps out with an automatic rifle. They outshot him in a gun
battle and managed to capture the rogue demon that had been bringing
tempted foes upon them, vaporizing it. They surround the bank and
the salt circle with a second circle of gas (siphoned from the security
cars still sitting outside) and lit it, continuing to contain the
evil while crossing the salt. Travis drove the armored van
through the glass doors (protected from damage by Buddhist sigils), and
it was immediately attacked by spirits. After some mystic battles
by Scott countering them, Barbados unleashed all of the mystic energy
he could summon in a "thermonuclear voodoo device" that bathed
the bank in light, vaporizing the demons.
Still, they remained in Halloweentowne,
knowing that there was still evil afoot. They use Greybachs to
detect power behind the vault, and Travis uses the truck to pull open
the vault door. Cultists in business suits and robes burst out
with a flurry of gunshots. Using guidance from his wards and his
own power in tune with the universe, Bruce sent out a wave of gravity
opposing, catching the bullets and stopping their forward
momentum. The wave continued into the vault, catching the
cultists and squishing them into juicy goo on the far vault wall.
After a little exploration, the heroes
discovered a trap door in the floor of the vault, and Travis, Cal,
Bruce (who's nearly winded after such disciplined exertion), Father
Ignatius, Scott, Teal, and Kaley went down it while the near comatose
Greybachs, exhausted Barbados, and bound and distrusted Cosh stayed
behind. In a chamber cut from the bedrock, they found a dozen
cultists lying in various states of dress, swooning and groping, and
crying all drunk on pure greed. At the center of them was an
incarnation of Greed, which everyone saw differently but can be aptly
described as a beautiful young woman floating above them. At her
feet rested piles of what everyone desired most: for Teal,
mind-altering drugs capable of new enlightenment; for Cal, scrolls
containing unspeakable knowledge; for Travis, stuff he'd rather not let
be known. Greed beckons them to join her, and Teal, Cal, Travis,
and Kaley fall under her spell, gathering at her feet and joining the
writhing cultists. Father Ignatius somewhat resisted, falling to
his knees and repeating "our daily bread", while Scott and Bruce
maintained their contentment. Greed continued her attempts at
breaking them until Scott managed to swipe Cal's flute and play his own
tune, showing Greed for what she was and transforming her in everyone's
eyes to a horrid, bloated crone. This, along with the barking of
Buster, was enough to snap Travis from his greed, and he drove his
golden cross into her forehead, ending Greed's hold over anyone
unwilling. Cal awoke first and hurriedly took back his flute (a
gift from his mysterious master in the tower near Ling) from
Scott. Teal still wanted drugs, and Kaley fought with him to
convince him it wasn't worth it. The cultists attempted to fight
for her, but were too weak as their life-forces had been drained for
Greed's benefit.
Bruce bound Greed in an illuminated
sigil, but was unable to erase her even with his practiced
contentment. She fought against him, and Cal determined to give
Bruce his flute. Greed shrieked at the display of liberality, and
Bruce responded by giving Cal his prayer beads. Father Ignatius,
Scott Eaglefeather, and Travis exchanged their rosary, bear-claw
necklace, and wrestling mask, respectively. The weakened Greed
collapsed to the floor, where the piles of desired things proved only
to be disguised and worthless rocks. They encircled her, joined
hands, and sang a prayer to eradicate her and purify the
building. Amid the screams of the cultists, Greed withered and
vanished into nothing, followed by the world trembling and going black.
When they could see again, they were back
in the steakhouse, which was encircled with police tape but would
ultimately be dismissed as an unsolvable case. Scott Eaglefeather
returned to his people on the reservation, where their casino did
better than ever before to help bring prosperity. Barbados Jones,
likewise, returned to Haiti, where his village avoided much of the
turmoil of the post-earthquake country. The Hammer went on to
great evangelical work with his wrestling league, though he was much
saddened that Buster died long before he did. Father Ignatius
went on to become a cardinal before his death, and Bruce Ali eventually died and was reincarnated
as another monk (what luck!). Kaley and Teal walked one another
through rehab, while Leader Cosh Zarrow attempted to re-contact Greed
and was eventually caught up in his cult's resulting mass
suicide. Cal took
Dr. Greybachs with him to a showing of the play "The King in Yellow" at
a certain New England university (go Cephalopods!") in early November
of 2011, and neither was ever heard from again.
Favored quotes
"Bullets
outrun
a minivan."
"Don't
worry;
I'll BODYSLAM the demons right out of you!"
"Calm
your
fear; The Hammer is here!"
"My
zombie grandma cook..."
"Your
morality
is getting in the way of my role-playing."
"The
Lord
would have thought less of you if you didn't [forgive]."