On October 31, 2008, the white-collar
staff at the Taterlicious Potato Chip Company were enduring a forced
company Halloween party. Despite the open bar, the employees had
rebelled against the boss, Mr. Brian Bossman, and his choice of
catering services. Fortunately, petty cash allowed for an
emergency pizza delivery by sunset. Among the people were:
John Carmine, 41-year-old engineer (Chad)
Jack O’Connor, Sales Vice-President (Jason)
John Johnson, company mascot, Mr. Taterlicious, in costume (Paul)
Stanley Spudowski, janitor… not technically invited, just there to clean up (John)
Toni Calzoni (Lori), the pizza-delivery girl
(Frank), a Line Worker promoted to middle management soon to propose
(Preston), a young technician
Just as Toni pocketed her money and
began to leave, she and Bossman were stopped at the lobby door by an
old, evil-looking, much-wrinkled man with a lazy eye in a deliveryman
suit. He gave a black document envelope to Bossman and wished
them a lively party. Before Toni can sneak away, he pulled the
seal, and the whole world went dark.
They found themselves on a deserted
highway in the middle of a dark forest. Just beyond them was a
large roadway sign reading, “Welcome to Halloweentowne.” There was a
suspicious dent in the sign that looked eerily like an enormous
bite-mark, but much too large, of course.
In the initial confusion, people
argued whether to stay put or head toward own. Everyone checked
their cell phones, but there was no service. One of the
receptionists, Rose, screamed incoherently, pointing toward the woods.
Mr. Taterlicious slapped her back to her senses, yet she still could
not say what she saw. Goaded by others, Bossman eventually guided
people to start walking toward the town lights in the distance.
In the opposite direction, the last lingering strands of sunlight faded.
As they walk, bright green lights
appeared behind them. People scattered from the road and watched
from the ditches as the lights approach, floating several yards above
the pavement. It wooshed by, disappearing into the
darkness. More confusion followed, and the walking continued
until more lights appeared.
These were normal yellow headlights,
belonging to an ancient truck held together with bailing wire and
bubblegum. The bed was loaded with scrap and junk. The
driver and his passenger, nearly toothless rednecks, stopped and asked
what was the matter. People erupted into arguments asking for
rides, and the argument eventually ended with two sales reps, Sally and
Katrina, riding with them toward town and disappearing into the night.
The rest of the workers walked on,
eventually getting into the outskirts of town where a gas station
rested. A pickup truck sat in the parking lot and the lights were
on, but there were no one to be found. They tried the payphone
outside, but could not get an operator. So, Preston and Lori went
inside to borrow a phone. At first, there was no one, but then a
turbaned attendant popped up from under the counter. He directed
Preston to the phone in the office.
Preston cut around the corner to a
short hallway with an office at the end. When he entered, the
door slammed behind him. He tried to pick up the phone, but it
burned his hand and ear like acid. The floor began to burn his
shoes. When he tried to break out, the door was not wooden at
all, but soft like flesh, and gave a burst of fresh acid to digest him
alive.
Chad came in to take a look, and they
heard the muffled screaming. The attendant proved himself a tongue,
leaping over the counter with his legs a tendril leading to the
floor. He tackled Lori, while the cheese and slurpy machines came
to life to attack the others. Lori used her mace on the
attendant, which made the whole building roar and quake. Outside,
people began to panic, and the others tried to maintain control.
Frank burst in with a makeshift Molotov cocktail, setting the place on
fire. The people were able to escape as the fire spread and
eventually ignited the gas tanks, destroying the entire place.
Running away from the fireball, the
group reassembled at the corner of the highway, where a police car with
the town sheriff pulled up. The sheriff tried to calm everyone
and talked with Bossman and a few others, trying to figure out just
what happened. In the midst of the madness, an armored bank truck
roared around the corner and parked haphazardly. A man in his
fifties with scraggly hair and a scruffy flannel over-shirt burst out.
The sheriff called him “Greg” and
tried to get the man to leave, but he ignored him and started yelling
at everyone, asking if they had “come from the real world.” It sounded
crazy, but the players agreed everything had been crazy up to that
point. Greg told them the tale of Halloweentowne, how the Good of
humanity is pitted against the Evil of monsters in a battle to
determine which is stronger. They bought his story, saw his
arsenal, and decided to follow him.
The sheriff, meanwhile, radioed to the
police station for a bus to pick up all these people to take them for
statements. Greg, shocked at the sheer number of people brought
to Halloweentowne, told them to wait. The bus arrived, and
everyone loaded up, which is when the players struck. Greg
tackled the sheriff, which distracted the bus-driving officer so that
the others could steal the bus and the police car. Mr.
Taterlicious tackled the officer and the sheriff in his mighty mascot
costume, knocking them down and getting away with everyone else in the
bank truck.
The motorcade went several blocks to
Greg’s house, the veritable fortress against Halloween monsters.
Greg opened the gate and showed everyone inside, explaining further
while everyone tries to concoct a plan. With the sheer numbers of
people, they proposed to help Greg destroy the house and free him from
Halloweentowne. He thanked them profusely for their decision, but
reminded them that he couldn’t ask them to do that out of selfishness,
because karma is heightened with swift punishment for jerks, just like
horror movies.
Greg described his monster, the
Haunted Hill House up on Haunted Hill. It was a three-story
Victorian house, though no one knew quite how many rooms it had (they
seemed to change whenever real estate agents explored it). Greg
purchased the house years ago, hoping to destroy it in the off-season
with no avail. He always attacked from afar, setting fires, using
explosives, and so forth, but the house kept “healing” itself.
After his first night in Halloweentowne when his three friends were
“taken,” he never set foot in the house again.
Volunteers stepped up from the workers
with about 14 of the 34 NPCs willing to attack. The rest were
content to hide at the house and wait out the night or ponder how to
seek out their own monster. As they armed themselves and piled
into the cars again, the sheriff ran up the street, panting and waving
his pistol to stop the car-thieves. Frank shot him to put an end
to it, understanding that things always reset after Halloween.
Greg immediately rebuked him for killing a guy in cold blood, saying
that his immorality had doomed his chances for the night.
In penance, Frank took Greg’s
motorcycle for a backup plan. He and Paul would drive across town
to find another terrifyingly powerful monster, Destruction. The
gang had asked Greg what the most powerful monster was, and he had told
them of this unstoppable force. Paul and Frank hoped to lead him
back to the house to pit the monsters against one another.
So they were off. The bus went
to Haunted Hill and stopped at the tall chain-link fence at the
property line. Three of the people with National Guard experience
set up mortars and began to shell the house. The hits seemed
unanswered, first breaking apart the roof and then the third
floor. Then, however, things began to go horribly wrong.
The house slowly stitched itself back
together: shingles nailing themselves into place, boards realigning,
furniture crawling back inside. Lori torched whatever came too
close from the explosions with a flamethrower, but the house was
preparing a counter-attack underground. All at once, copper
pipes, wooden beams, wiring, and other household pieces broke from the
ground and began to grab people, dragging them under. People
panicked and ran for the bus, while others stayed to help move the
mortars and pull trapped coworkers free. Lonnie, one of the
ingredients control technicians, was pulled completely underground.
Everyone retreated to the pavement,
resuming the attack with the mortars, and the house continued to
retaliate. A sinkhole opened beneath Lori into the root cellar,
but she was able to escape. Seeing the chaos and refusing to let
any more be taken, Greg grabbed a crate from the bus, held it to his
chest, and sprinted toward the gaping hole where the front door used to
be. Preston charged after him, hoping to stop Greg from doing
whatever suicide-attack he planned.
All the while, across town, Paul and
Frank had ended up in Hallow Oaks, the wealthiest neighborhood in
Halloweentowne. After driving aimlessly and dodging
suspicious-looking trick-or-treaters, they finally came upon a pale man
in a black trench coat and black fedora with frizzled black hair.
When he looked up, he had no eyes, only skin over the sockets to show
that Destruction is blind.
They fired a shot, gaining his
attention, and drove away with him in pursuit. He chased them for
a while, but began to lose interest, so they shot again. They
dodged around giant alligators and gremlins dancing around the wreckage
of a burning car, keeping Destruction close enough to chase, but far
enough to keep them safe. When he finally seemed to be turning
away, Frank tempted him with the prized diamond ring that he was going
offer to his beloved. Destruction gained eager interest in
destroying such a beautiful thing and chased them all the way back to
the Haunted Hill House.
Just as Greg reached the front door,
Preston caught up with him, demanding to know what he was going to
do. The grandfather clock in the front hall made a lunge for
Greg, but Preston shot it apart. Greg said he could not let any
others be taken and pulled the timer on the crate loaded with
explosives. Preston stopped him, and then they heard the loud
growling of the motorcycle approaching.
People at the bus scattered out of the
way, and Paul jumped free of the motorcycle side-car, landing safely
and rolling in his padded mascot suit. Lori dodged around the
house, and Frank drove straight up the driveway toward Greg and
Preston, leading Destruction running full-tilt behind him. At the
last minute, Frank jumped and rolled, breaking his leg in the
landing. Preston tore the explosives away from Greg and threw
them into the nearby parlor, then pushed them both outside of the
house. Destruction leaped over them, chasing the motorcycle and
landing near the crate. The explosives blew, sending a wave of
white deafness over them all.
When the ringing stopped and people
picked themselves up, they found the house on fire in places and
wrestling with the roaring Destruction. Whatever he destroyed, it
rebuilt and strengthened. It was a stalemate, however treacherous.
The gang watched it for a moment, then
moved to action. Greg pulled his handgun, cocked it, and said he
was going into the house via the hole into the cellar. Frank,
Lori, Chad, John, and Preston followed, Stanley Spudowski giving a
roaring speech to embolden them about cleaning up messes. They
were armed with machineguns, a chainsaw, and flamethrowers, in addition
to Lori’s mace (specially mixed with holy water, garlic, wolfsbane, and
many others) and Frank’s blessed sword he had gotten at Greg’s
house. Greg thanked them for their help and gave Frank a vial of
potion that healed his leg and everything else that had ever physically
been wrong with him.
In the cellar, Stanley led the way
with his flashlight into a long corridor leading to an open, dark
basement. They tested the doors on the sides, finding storage
cabinets, the family vault, a crypt, and a doorway that had been
covered with mud. Breaking through the long-dried mud, they found
a room where a hole had been scratched by human fingers in the back,
freeing up mud to coat the floor, walls, and ceiling completely.
Strange markings covered the mud. In a corner, a skeleton in a
rotted top hat and coat lay clutching a leather-bound journal.
Frank picked up the journal and read briefly the tale of the builder of
the house who had tampered with evil plants from distant lands.
It had gotten out of his control and seized his family, now kept at bay
only by the sigils on the walls. As he starved to death, all he
wanted was forgiveness.
They left the man in his tomb and went
into the main basement which held a coal chute and other typical 19th
century things. In the middle, there was a stone well with iron
handles leading down forty feet into the darkness. The very end
seemed to grow eerily green.
Lori climbed down first, the way
lighted by Stanley, and others followed. Deep in the roots of the
house, they found, literally, roots. Huge wooden shafts throbbed
with evil life. A green sac at the far edge glowed and
oozed. At the heart of each root, a human was entombed, covered
in wood except their faces and hands. Most were asleep: a
mother and daughter, a traveling salesman, three young men dressed
vaguely in ‘70s style, and Lonnie, who moaned wearily at them to free
him.
Greg set immediately upon his friends,
tearing at the wood with his hands to break it. Frank stabbed the
glowing sac with his holy sword while the chainsaw went to work freeing
the people. The house let out a horrid cry of pain and death, and
the green ooze poured over the floor. The wood began to soften,
and the whole house began to crumble around them. Working as fast
as they could, they rescued the people and carried them up the shaft,
escaping just as the room collapsed. The rest of the shaft closed
behind them.
Running through the basement, they
scurried back to the open cellar and scrambled to the surface on broken
beams. Preston, holding the rear, tripped and felt his ankle
grabbed. He was lifted into the air upside-down by Destruction,
who proceeded to tear him in half. The house collapsed on them
both, burying them beneath yards of dirt and kicking up a cloud of
fetid dust.
When the dust cleared, the others saw
Preston was missing, lost in the collapse. While the salesman,
woman, and child were safe, the four men from the ‘70s had
disappeared. Greg was gone, finally freed of Halloweentowne.
They were filled with bittersweet
triumph and piled back into the bus, nursing wounds on the way back to
Greg’s suburban fortress. When they turned the corner, they found
themselves in a new battle as a horrid metallic disk floated above the
house with green lights shining and screams filling the night.
This was their monster, and it had found the NPCs waiting at the house. They were explorers from beyond, scientists hoping to take what they could of humanity’s knowledge. The aliens themselves were five feet tall, dressed in glowing green robes, and appeared translucent. Whenever they wished, they could weaken their molecular bonds and pass through walls or human bodies. Where their bodies touched humans, they would paralyze nerves. If they passed through the brain, all memories and logical processes were lost, and the victim became a vegetable.
The battle was fierce, and at first very one-sided. Bullets
slowed the aliens, but their thin molecules allowed them to pass
through without damage. Lori discovered that flamethrowers
accelerated the molecules uncontrollably, destroying the aliens with
heat. She defended the back yard against several aliens before
attackers paralyzed her arms and she was forced to retreat and
hide. Stanley tried to aid her, but was caught by aliens who
passed through his brain. Chad and Jason found themselves sucked
into the central green light of the craft, appearing in a huge silver
room surrounded by aliens ready for dissection. Fortunately,
their grenades kept the aliens at bay. Frank came along with
flamethrowers, and they set about wrecking the ship and destroying the
crew.
To further the madness, Paul had
undergone a revelation. His character’s life as Mr. Taterlicious
had been nothing but lost misery: no sense of direction, no one taking
him seriously, and his acting dismissed. There was nothing for
him back in the real world, but this world needed a New Greg. It
would be him, even if it meant the others would have to stay behind as
well. He used a grenade launcher to force the ship to the ground,
hoping to keep it in place until morning and doing his best to stop the
others from defeating it.
The ship finally crashed with all its
crew destroyed, and the remaining aliens knew their plight was
severe. Using the essences of the humans in the house, they
merged into an enormous monster as a final counter-attack. It
consumed Chad, but Frank and Jason, in the end aided by Paul, were able
to blow it up. When the aliens vaporized, their visions went
dark, and they found themselves back in the lobby of their office.
Everything was the same, though it was
after midnight as hours had passed just like in Halloweentowne.
Bodies lay scattered, many ripped and others stuck in catatonia.
Sally and Katrina were huddled together, shaking and covered in blood
from head to foot, unable to say anything about their night after
leaving with the rednecks.
Toni went on to study art in Paris
after physical therapy returned the use of her arms. Frank became CEO
(selling out to Pringles and making a fortune, which he shared with his
wife), while the deal was facilitated by the wealthy Jack
O’Connor. Mr. Taterlicious used his utter horrors to facilitate a
career in scary movies as the Potato Beast.
Greg Weiss, after thirty-two years trapped in Halloweentowne, returned home to live out the rest of his life quietly and happily ever after. Except on Halloween, of course, when he would sit huddled in his closet, gripping a baseball bat and counting down to dawn.